Friday, October 21, 2011

Fresh Meadows Farm w/ Tygue Tyler Autori Dawson and Ms. Steel's 3rd grade class: Handsome Little Lad , Family Friend

Today started burgeoned onto to be a wonderfully miraculous day thus far. Having had the luxury of attending P.S. 36's field trip (Harlem) to Fresh Meadows Farm, along with Tygue Dawson. Tygue happens to be the lovely 8 year old brother of my best friend (the model) Courtney, and I was honored to be attending the trip with him on the family's behalf. Especially Mom, Sheri Dawson. Tygue and I had a ball.

Starting with the introduction of his class (Mrs. Steel's 3rd grade class), I was in for a vast variety of awakenings. The class consists of 25 children and out of 25 children, only 22 attending due to bad behavior of the other kids. The teachers, Mrs. Steel and Ms. Martin happen to love Tygue as he is one of the few kids who listen, observe and has a meticulous attention span when it comes to details. The others (when I say others I mean other kids) have their own cynical values and, were trotting on the teachers last nerve. The moment Tygue and I entered the class, introduced ourselves there was disruption from a little boy, Ramon, who happens to be a smart ass. He asked me if it was all right to say the word "hell" and I replied "no sweetheart and that's an adult word that you shouldn't use honey. At that point Destination sprung over my side by the reading section saying "he's a liar," and I said "okay sweetie, would you like me to help you pick out a book?" She smiled and I knew we had clicked. She's Mrs. "I don't wanna wear my jacket." Although I think the kids means well after all, kids will be kids. I acknowledged this especially when the kids were trying to figure out who I was, and if I was Tygue's mother or sister. I found this to be quite intriguing but nonetheless, I enjoyed it! I felt like I wanted more of this and the teacher's looked as though they wanted to retire, when all I really wanted to just get know these little kids and seep into their souls. "The eyes are the portal to one's soul." Use wisely. For instance: Penelope (I like her), she's a little sassy-whipper-snapper who asked "who are you!? I told her "I'm a family friend!" Thereafter everything appeared to be altogether friendly between us two, when she realized I wasn't getting in between the relationship with her and her man (Tygue). Kids!? huh.. From the start I knew she had a thing for Tygue and kids are just classic. They're the ones who brim forth laughter, giving us hope and joy. That's what I admire most of all in them- their innocence. Another example would be, Destination (this little girl is a "DIVA" in every form of the word), she tells it like it is even in the playground and was the first one to let me know during story time after the trip that Ramon tells stories all of the time! Baby-girl was definitely serious!!!! Then there was Mikeyla (imagination sensation), this little girl called the pumpkin her baby, Petunia. I realized then that too may kids are involved in a grown person's conversation. However, you can't admonish a strangers kid but when you're watching them it's imperative to advise and be assertive in the absence of their paternal/maternal figures.
There's Jajuan (the birthday boy), his mother came along and he was as happy as a bumble bee, even though he doesn't listen half the time. His mother lightly admonished him, but he's such a cutie and I told her she'd have her hands full by the time he reached Junior High. These children were hysterical. Also, Jose (behavioral problems to St. Lucia and back), now he pushed Tygue at the Zoo and I expressed to him "That we don't do that here sweetheart, Tygue's crying and you must apologize," "It's not nice and we keep our hands to ourselves." He apologized to Tygue and I which I was pleased he followed directions. This very ordeal had led me to realize why the teacher had begun her 3rd grade with a lectured forum. I suppose it was a definite must!

Now I can't very well go through the list of every kid in the classroom, but I must conclude that it was a very lovely observation to see them interact. I believe having children isn't easy, doesn't come with a manual, parents make mistake, but you can give your child all of the conditional love in the world but, if they're wild like "Monday," and choose to fight everyone- what can you do? You are your child's first teacher and let's hope that you are. Dear Universe I believe children are wonderful and besides pursuing my career I desire to conceive one day (later on in life). You are what you feel and even though the children gave Ms. Steel a blasted bloody headache I gather she LOVES those little chicken nuggets to pieces!!!!! And back...

During the trip we saw goats, turtles, picked pumpkins, watched African Dance, Spanish American Dance. The children ran around in the hay, played in the field, used porta-potties, acted as if they fully legal adults. A prime example is Ramon, when he said to Ms. Martin "Isaiah is NOT my partner, I wanna girl to be MY partner!" Ms. Martain told him no and he was like "I'm NOT his partner, NO." This kid was a mouth and a hand full. Ms. Martin was praying for 3:00 all day therefore by the end of the trip from Fresh Meadows Farm, I told her to go home and have herself a cocktail. She replied "thank you and that's the best advice I've heard all day!!!" I replied "glad to be of service!" These women were very courteous and cordial and it seemed to me they need a rest. Therefore I suggest the Universe bless them and bless them soon. They've succumbed unto a long day and a poignant weekend ahead. Words are worth living for and so are kids!

Fresh Meadows Farm was fresh and lovely as can be. It reminded of mother nature which is beautiful. The community in Queens and the farming area with the grass all green and the observations of the trees and life. Thus inspiring us and our minds that we've so much to live for and we must keep pushing on. The world is definitely our oyster. If I could choose to relive any day it'd be this day with Tygue Dawson accompanied with his class on their field trip. Tygue's a beautiful kid and I feel that I am so blessed to know him!!!! I'm glad I was chosen to attend the trip with him. I LOVE YOU TYGUE! Never change from from who you are! I have to say the world is amazing and it depends on your frame of noggins! LOVE YOU~YOU CHOOSE!

Friday, October 7, 2011

NO Harm in YOU

There is NO harm in saying "Goodbye." In fact as quoted from my cousin Jasmine Thomas, there in Goodbye. Therefore God is good and God is love. If there is someone or something holding anger, misery, pride or materialistic forms of matter let it go because I'm here to tell you; you don't NEED it. You are better than this and while I'm not going to get all biblicial on all spectrums of the rainbow, no one is perfect and you can't expect anyone to love you for you through the good times and the bad. Everyone can see if you look into the portal of a person's eye "the eyes are the portal to ones soul," and they NEVER EVER lie. Just like your hips and that Shakira song! If someone does something for you out of love and sheer kindness, be thankful yet mindful. However, when someone crosses the line and does stuff for you but disregards what you have done for them because of their status- this is permissable TO GIVE THEM THE FREAKING BOOTS! Two Boots for Dora The Explorer that which my darling baby sister is smitten. The thing is/the very point that I am trying to make is that no one is above anyone regardless of their status. Nothing should be held over your head reagrdless of your status. Every little that one can do for another in life counts and when you do for others while always expecting something in return- NO good will come of it.

Life is as such as a Chameleon is always shifting and changing so is life. You learn that with human beings in life, and even though you may view the world as beautiful and the harder you persevere, challenege the odds thereby brimming forth the very idea that your worth will shine through. Money can't buy happiness but it can sure resolve bills and financial matters , but never let it consume your inner. For once you are happy with the work you do the fruits of your labor will pay off, the money will then roll around like a Madoff Ponzy scheme. Thus far in a good way. It's not a good idea to compare but just being content with what you have, and the planting the roots of your seed. I happen to be a fashion fanatic in terms of writing, styling, Rachel Zoe- Forever 21-ing it across the slopes, writing about my passions, inspiring my crowd (my kinda peeps all hues and forms abound), I let it shine through in the world of the stage, marketing and hitting the floors hands down. I may not be the perfect woman but I AM the perfect me with great synergies abound I am PROUD. Staying true to you no matter what life may hand you.

The haters are gonna hate, it's a given fact but if someones LOVES YOU FOR YOU they wouldn't pity you without a doubt. They wouldn't dare cross that line if they were really trying to help because that isn't love.

#TRUST IN YOU. Stay True Beautiful Bitches.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Pygmalion & the casting call saved me: my ditz moment didn't phase me!!!

Good Day Fellow Americans and Non-Fellow Americans; whatever people call themselves nowadays! I'll be darned!!! Yuppers and a yuppity yup.

Today turned out to be quite the day for me. I had the opportunity to wake up this morning which means the Universe loves me and, so does God. However, I'm not going to get all holy on this one! I do credit my day to having had such a wonderful evening the previous night. Last night consisted of a Business Law final which was a breath of fresh air, some finance studying thereafter, followed by one of my long overdue infamous walks into Chelsea. Oh how I love Chelsea!!! That area of Manhattan just screams to me "oooooooohhhhhhh Vivian, Kyemma Vivian Campbell, do come visit me," and so it would happen that I did visit Chelsea. Upon my grand entrance into the neighborhood I had the grand opportunity of going to my favorite 24 hour doughnut spot, "The Donut Pub," which has the best coffee and doughnuts in America known to man!!!!! The very fact that it is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week isn't bad and, can do a woman justice when her friend, Rose, comes to visit during that time of the month. Just having the chance to order a chocolate ring, marble glazed doughnut and, a coffee with milk, and no sugar had made my day! I believed I was on a roll followed by reading Professor Montlack's book, "My Diva." This book was quite intriguing and I adored every word in it. After my moment of let's say an hour and a half I decided it was time to head home, and so I hopped on the train via JFK and read my little heart away. When I got in, I took a lovely shower, and decided that I'd watch "Pygmalion."I love the classics and "Pygmalion" appeared to be right up my alley with Sinatra and the gang, Marilyn and Audrey too. Pygmalion is the story of a very poor girl, Eliza Doolittle, who happens to be the object of a bet between two professors. The Professors' proclaim that one of them can take the poor girl off the street and turn her into a Proper Duchess within a matter of six months time span. The film happens to be quite interesting and I immediately fell in love with Doolittle's sassyness which reminds me of me. Oh for heavens sake we might as well say that I think every film reminds me of me that I might take a liking towards. The heart wants what it wants and my heart desired "Pygmailion," and so it was given unto it. It was a wonderful experience and I was in love, the fact that I'm single in the city didn't matter to me either way, the stage is my home and last night I was Eliza Doolittle as I watched her on screen, even though I wasn't. It was poignant. But, after it was over I went back to listening to good ol' Frank Sinatra to soothe my soul at 4:00am in the morning and put my body unto a slumber.

This morning, I woke upelated but tired as ever. A little kitten I was, and wouldn't budge to get out of bed. I realized sooner or later that I'd have wake up because I had a go-see for Epic Talent Management. A go-see is a casting call in the world of modeling, such as an interview or audition would be to an actor/actress, or future employee. I decided to have my coffee black due to the fact that I'd been given no choice, because there was a failure to purchase skim milk, also along with this an accompanied eggs and toast, which was lightly seasoned with salt and pepper. It made my day! I ironed my dressed, prepped my heels and was ready for the day. It was clear that I had to make a move and so I did.

I arrived an hour early to my casting call. What I had did before that was completely ludicrous. I decided I'd wear my wedges for the first time so I squeezed newspaper in them because they were a smidget big, and as a result my toes turned "RED!" The color red. Now, I have a booboo on my middle left toe and it's all red. I want to cry but today I loaded up on extra coffee therefore I was fine. After all, I am resilient. The casting call was held in the Millenium Hotel in Times Square. I waited an hour in the casting room, chatted with my friend Court Court (via phone), and made acquaintances with associates, Gina and Billie. Gina was such a doll and much too much engaging but, Billie appeared to be a know it all. Apparently, she's going for her Law Degree and I say the more power to ya. But watch it sister, although she's not my sister so I've nothing to worry my little heart about. I figure you let people be people and, you be yourself; that's quite all right. I strive for more and it's become apparent in my life. In my past life I must of been a real diva. Beyonce says "a diva is a version of a female hustler," and I agree but wouldn't refer to myself as a hustler. I met the ladies in charge at Epic, Jenee, Lisa and Cait. I explained to Jenee that I'd rather be called by middle name and that made her turn her head. I say it's my name and I'll have it called as I please! However, Cait didn't seem to mind, and I love the spelling of her name "Cait," other then "Kate or Cate." It happens to be a classic call on her parents part and I am glad. For one, Cait interviewed me and I am glad she did do so because I wouldn't have it any other way. I was under the impression that Jenee didn't like me too much from her obvious glances and meticulous stares. It's okay because I pride myself in being me and that is all that matters. Cait and I had a darling conversation and, she said "I'd fit well in the hospitality department, modeling and marketing which is a grand compliment for me." I wouldn't want to have it either. She gave me 2 business cards so hopefully I am booked, because I would love this opportunity. I left that hotel with a smile in my heart and everything a new.

What happened after wasn't too great, because of the boo-boo in my shoe, paying attention to texting while walking, and not watching the light while following the crowd: I almost got hit by a yellow taxi. That's what you get when you follow the crowd rather than lead! So much for relaxation and after this I decided that since I almost fell in a crack in the middle of 44th and 6th avenue, in the middle of the street that I should refrain from thinking too much. Thereby forcing my eyes to pay attention to the traffic light nevermind that my 5 inches wedges were caught in a crack, and I was about to die today!!! The Universe, however, was on my side, I take it that it knew that I was going through one of my ditz moments in this lifetime!!!! Really, I love these wedges but I will never ever put newspaper in them again, or not pay attention when crossing the street. I say this now but later who knows. It's funny because I'm over-protective of everyone else around me and, when it comes to me I'm oblivious. It's whatever but I do love myself and value my soul more than the next man. This is just something that I do for myself. The wedges as of now are taking a vacation while my italian flats are nestled unto my cuddle-bugs aka "feet." I really love my cuddle-bugs and I had enough of being sexy and tall but, I am sexy and I just had to say that. Today I learned a valuable lesson, "if the shoe fits wear it and no newspaper, also look both ways before crossing the road especially in New York City (I already knew this but had to remind myself).

I suppose this is the beauty of life, learning as we go along! Pygmalion and today's casting call saved me even if I had a ditz moment, and fell in a crack in NYC! What an adventure!!!!!!!!!! I'm on my way to better days but my poor cuddle-bugs are taking a break for tonight. Haha :) Cheers Darlings.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Hurricane Irene & My Lovable Dawson Family Friends

I was never a crowd pleaser, it took a minute to revive them all as if they've had amnesia. (Kyemma Vivian Campbell)

Today, August 28, 2011, was just that for which I have no words, because this "Hurricane Irene" happened to be an epic adventure. I've traveled (August 27, 2011) all but from one island via JFK to land unto another island via Manhattan. I did just that to land in Harlem, at one of my very best friends house. Her name is Courtney and she's my friend because we both know what it is like to bust our asses for 5 years in the making, only to have people to try and shatter your dreams but keep on pumping. Thereby pumping, I meaning pushing it to the ultimate max. You see, Ol' Court Court's a model/promotional model and I am an actress/writer/personality/marketing student/promotional model in the making. This is why we're friends because we think a like, well somewhat.

These are all of the things I do which is great because I'm in the mid-20's sector of my youth and at this rate, you'd think I'd have a baby by Tom, Dick and Larry already! Really though, Tom, Dick and Larry aren't on my list of hot white/latin/multiracial and blacks that I'd love to screw with a passion. There's got to be more character, passion and substance. A girl's got to get her money's worth and when I say "money's worth" I don't mean prostituting on the corner of 42nd and 8th, or developing the latest porno!!! Gee wiskers, folks, we have Paris Hilton for that but, I commend her on willingness to look pass the negative and, moving on to bigger, more profitable assignments. By assignments, I mean reality television. Speaking of which- has anyone seen her latest show "The World According to Paris!?" It's pretty interesting shit (or as Chelsea Handler would say "shadoobie") and not to mention her hot ex-lover man Cy. Cy was a cutie but boy did he have issues. That show was good and I got a chance to watch Cy whenever I had the chance. That is, if not for my favorite shows: Chelsea Lately, Rachel Ray repeats, Oprah repeats, Sex & the City repeats, The Today Show and NY 1, because somehow I find the news to be quite informative. When I am not doing that I'm preparing a speech, plotting my next internship, the move, homework and devoting my life to being the best sexy, sensational personality I can be, followed by naming my non-existing non-birth children. Their names are Adeline Sienna, Zoe-Ann and Simon and the rest, I will not go into the majority of detail. You see, all of this means the world to me, along with one year of college left and my non-existent love life. Although, I do miss my friends with benefits relationships because sometimes Mama feels like she needs her fix. Then I watch "Breakfast at Tiffany's" coupled with "Sex & the City" and I am all right! Really, the feeling's amazing! Also, for guilty pleasures, "Pretty Woman" because I just love to sit there and drool over Richard Gere. He makes my heart melt. The feeling is amazing and I could recount this everytime I watch this film or read Chelsea Handler's books: she's hilarious.

What I find more interesting is the non-existent relations that I have with Richard Gere that ceases to exist. Eh I might as well go back to my ex-italian boyfriend but, one must never ever go backward. They must climb pride rock like the lions, because Simba did it in the "Lion King" and he turned out fine. I admire Simba for that. Screw Uncle Scar!

Anyhoot, enough of that jargon. We want to get to the center, the root of the core, the bottom of the 9th when the bases are loaded with one Jeter up; Derek Jeter. (if you don't know please do check out the Yankees and their uniform). Thank you. A little education for the mind. The root of it all is known as "Hurricane Irene." She has hit us really hard in some areas and yet I do pray for the loss of loved ones, and those who lost themselves in it all. My heart goes out to you and may you stay safe and strong. Hurricane Irene taught me a lot. First off, I can hop on the #1 train to Manhattan's Harlem section, visit my best friend and we can have a camp fire in the hallway of the apartment, with her and the rest of the family. Secondly, we can turn all the lights out, laugh about being blown away, stay away from the windows but, still be able to wake up in the morning thereby being thankful for the love of life, friends and family that we do have; whether we converse or not. Love is love and when love is around you, it's hard not to become seduced. It's like a fisherman with bait who reels the fish in, then stabs it, cleans it, cooks and eats it. I know it is shaky but it is what it is. It motivates me though. It helps you to open your eyes even after all the bullshit you want to smile, because you have people in your life who truly do care. They care so much for you that they wake you up in the morning with coffee, during the storm in the hallway, and you pop up like a drug addict awaiting your next fix for coffee! Coffee happens to be the life (my life), and thereafter you update your facebook status to let the world know this: "Good Morning America!"

That happens to be the life! It's a great life because I really value the time that I share, even if I don't spend it with my parents, I'm elated to spend it with the ones that I love. My parents are hysterical: all of them and you'd think I was adopted by martians. While I am an intellect and a pretty face, some of the things that comes out of my mouth happen to be insanely stupid. Although it's rather funny because people do laugh and so I thank the universe for my brain. I don't smoke narcotics, any illegal substances, just wine, coffee, apple cider and vodka but, mostly my coffee fix! I'm a good girl but I don't bite my tongue for anyone! I stand my ground like the lady I know how to be. That I am. Dorothy taught me this from the "The Wizard of OZ," and the red headed girl, Annie, in "Annie." It's quite amazing how life goes by and we find the ones whom are in sync yet those who are not.

Today and yesterday was just about that. From the book "Where are you vodka? It's me Chelsea," (Chelsea Handler) the chats with Courtney and her mother, Mrs. Dawson, and her little brother, Tygue, I seem to have done quite all right. I have battled my fair share. No one ever said life was going to be easy and at the end of the day, we are all we've got. Therefore whatever makes you happy just do it, it's the only way you'll ever find out. That's the motto and mission pretty people! No one is perfect yet we all have to think for ourselves; please use your own mind. Meanwhile, the wind blew pretty hard and my best friend just said to me "you're okay psycho, you're still alive," or something to that effect. What are friends for!? She's the greatest: She's butter-pecan and I am caramel brownie delight mi amor aka "the things I make up!" Ahah Hurricane Irene was informative yet epic. It was fun camping out in the dark with 4 candles maximum in an apartment: it keeps getting better so hold on! I will if you will. I'm also late for our Harry Potter viewing of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire."

Be sure to follow me on twitter@KyemmaCambell aka Vivian Campbell. The best is yet to come.

"Be the change you wish to see in America," or wherever you're fun, it won't hurt.

My last words to you are be safe, wrap it up, get tested, no drunk driving, stay inside or get blown away because the hurricane Irene isn't a joke!!!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

"My Humble Human Ode"

You see I have this entry level mode where I believe in myself and, when I see myself falling I push that "ASS" a million steps forward. 'Cause we have got to keep moving up the ladder in this life, it is the only one we have got.

You see I have fell off the ladder, down the rabbit hole 2nd quarter then, I flew right back; pushing that ass! In everything a person does, there has to be some form of meaning and substance equating from within because that is the only way. We must not only seek to survive but, live; live, be engaging, love and have a vast amount energy given to all we aspire to do and will do. Personally, for everything that I do in my life, on the stage, in front of the camera, and on the paper is above average. I know my limits but, will never give another the pleasure of succumbing unto them. I can really never be satisfied with myself because I desire more and, will not stop; the way I look at it, is I deserve the very best!

"This is a rccipe that everyone should try on for size!" -kvc-

That's the magic, I believe in God, I am not a saint, I believe in love and the poignant unruly things, and time.

"With grace is time and with time is grace." -kvc-

I'll be leaving you all with a photo (above) of a fellow castmate of mine; in time we worked it out, the entire cast and the show was memorable experience in the midst of time.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Alphina's Women Wish, Trees, The Shoot yet More...

As I sit here, I notice there's a tree in the park (Battery Park) yet I feel the urge to climb it. The funny thing is , if I do climb this tree the director may come back, say 'back to one' and, that would be the end of it. You see, today is the day that I am filming (for a promotion) and, this shoot happened to occur last minute.

Here's how the events have transpired; you see, last night I had been contacted by a Ms. Jeannie from 2 Dot Productions to (see if I'd be available for the shoot) participate in the shoot due to someone calling out so I said 'yes' because I didn't have any plans lined up today besides that BORING ass of a 'Mind and Body' college course at night, (and at any rate I'd be praying for more work and loads of auditions ) besides we've got to head where the money is! Right!? "You can't feed yourself without a dime in this city unless you're seeking refuge from the government!!" This is New York City, and 'single women' have got to do what they have got to d! Right on! That's the motto, you work hard and, you play later. Yuppers! Yuppity Yup! Exactly my sentiments and reasoning for being here; I don't mind at all because I am a 'Go-Getter!' I follow my own mold, mode and set the tonality for the stage. God knows living in America, in New York City is like one big stage! We have got to survive. I adore and love that trait because it gets you very far in life. However, climbing up the tree in the middle of Battery pak can only get you so far, on this set. About half the Actors, Promotional Models/Ambassadors are shooting, and the other sector is on a 5 minute break like me.

This is cool!!! It's for Alphinawomenwish and in conjuction with; the yogurt is amazing but that's beside the point.

The goal is to having everyone on set, where they will be given butterflies in evenlopes and, for every butterfly released on the count of 5 to 1, all of the proceeds will go to homeless/down trotten individuals, and women! This commerical shoot will be on in the next week or so, also on Alphina's facebook, twitter and youtube page! It is a really lovely cause, which I am honored to have been a part of today.

Good things come to those who wait with the utmost patience and persistance.

My friends, it's a poignant feeling that has been bestowed upon me. It is what I perceive as a humble blessing little nuggets!

Although, I am not climbing a tree today, with every butterfly released I've felt a sense of pride, hop and joy. The time flew yet it made no matter because it comes down to mind over matter. Whatever questions asked from passerbys, it's fine because I am in love with today's event/shoot; from 11:45-3:45pm. The idea of being fulfilled with having to smile, have down-time, cop a squat by tree and, continue writing as I am sitting here @2:24pm. I feel thankful, humbled, and nurtured. We've been given what tasted (like in my eyes) yogurt from heaven , which wasn't a negative perk either! The brand, Freestart from Alphina was tasty, delightfully melting in my mouth with granola: that;'s the best part! Just the simple things. This my little love nuggets, counts the most in this sophisticated chics life. If I can't have Zara, Forever 21, H&M, Top and, a fine duplicate specimen of a tall man, give me the park, the trees, a nice swift breeze and, a chance for a walk in the park- barefoot.

Thus all the more, donating for a good cause!

"A great experience can happen at any point in time if you let it!"

"I hope you make yours happen.."

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Motivational Y.O.U

It's not about seeking the past for answers to the present
It's about growing as an individual day by day, a step at a time regardless of what people and the world may think or say. We are divine because we are one and, we are just us- who we are. If a person doesn't like you I say 'FUCK em'!!!' I say this purely because you have just got to know when to move on and, travel down that yellow brick road like Dorothy did, in the "Wizard of Oz.." You see Dorothy was sacred but she encountered friends along the way who helped her in so many ways. And in return, she did the same. Life is about helping people, being happy, working hard, accomplishing what you love. You can be anything you want to be. There's always going to be someone who will try to stop you, or tear you a part piece by piece but, you have got to learn that you have got to bounce back!!! Never "BUY" love or friends because real love comes naturally though, hard it's never fake! Your intuition tells you the truth.

Do you hear ME?

Bounce the fuck back!!! Fuck what they said because they are just an audience waiting for you to explode. Move on, be happy, have fun, go out and have sex, jump rope, go to school, become an acrobat, an actress or writer like me, become a dancer, a stripper, a rock star, a singer, the president, get married, have kids or have The "Back-up Plan" (I've been watching this for the past 2 days) and, it's good stuff. MY elusive point is do what you want to do, and have the courage to be who you are. Folks are always going to talk because they've been doing it since the agte of time!!! Hey they spoke dirt of The Late Great Marilyn Monroe and she's still making money on her death bed! This is because the woman is the truth and I love her for one, and so does all of America, which is why there's so much gossip: good or bad. People in the world don't know when to "CUT IT OUT!" and just put a sock in it. If people want to talk let because actions speak louder than words and you will always reap what you sew. Hey half of my family thinks I'm too white (funny thing is I am black, part irish and indian so does it really matter, your color shouldn't define you)for them, and I'm still working hard because deep down inside "I AM ME," and that's beautiful baby! I'd rather be proper, sophisticated, happy, sexy, full of high spirits, date a vast amount of white boys, eat indian food, sushi, drink wine and coffee, smile then date a bunch of indian men, and black men (maybe just be international)study, get married, have kids, and act. The point is I value myself more than anyone else and, no matter what I've been through I know I am on my way; there's no feeling better than that because I LOVE ME!!!! You should love "you" too because from the day you were born you were the only you, you have had, besides your family)..

I just want to say: BE YOU!!! Thank God You Don't Live in a sewer and put a smile on!!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

It happened: By Kyemma "Vivian Campbell"

Once all the stones have been cast
Your love lingers within grasp
Thrown in the crystal clear river
And to ponder..
They don't even have to ask about me for when looking deep unto mine eyes they'll have made a visit with the truth
The truth, so silent yet so meek but, at the end of night let's me sleep,
To only dream of you till' I wake
Because when I'm done it'll have been the start of the next day, next month, next calendar year
For when our love explodes doomsday will appear,
Though I fear, I'll never experience your love
'Cause deep down you started off as this awful bug; a bug in mine ear
And I brewed up a steaming pot of hatred towards you, as it would appear
But now, now everything isn't clear
Because when I yearn for you, I'm calling you near
I started out doing this for myself and then, I came to see you're the one I want to capture for myself
I wanna be on your team, your side
I wanna be your Bonnie, you be, my Clyde
But I see, I see
Love don't come easy
You ain't come easy because I ain't come easy
Though I care and cared even more when you teased me..
This edible succulent game of cat and mouse
Gave her nothing but a taste for what you're about
Though without a doubt I've gotta let you flow from my mind because this crush,
This 'I don't know what,' has got me spinning into a 4th dimension
Don't know if it's well worth mentioning
I felt it with you
I felt it with you
I felt it with you
That's the least I could do
You make me sick
I could easily hate you because I can't have you,
But it's not in my heart
I'm not that kind of woman
I'm stronger than that
But when it comes to the tip of my tongue,
I was never created to hate but created to love
So thankful for this present which is ever such a blessing
For sometimes when I close my eyes,
It is you I see, it is you I see as I fly through the warm breeze
Guessing that encounter wasn't so bad Cause what I had hated I've come to love and what has made me sad has made me smile
Smile because I can
What has transpired
What has transpired
She or I nor you will never know..
That's the magic
All strung out, up in the air with some doubts...
You, you, you
Me, me, me
I'm letting it be..

Sign: By Kyemma "Vivian Campbell"

What's so symbolic of our love
Is that you are there thinking of thee above
When I need you
Day or night
Don't have to raise my hand, make a sound
You come when the time's right
It is true for you know the signs
The signs of your dear love in the light
You are poignant, mystical yet the truth
There wouldn't be a me without you
The sound of your name rings bells in my mind
It brings me joy without a simple sign
You think of me even before and when you think of you
You are a real man and my dream has come true
Is this fate
Is it the time
The universe has brought us into the light
I kind a get it now
Can't you see
I am secure with you
Sound and safely
No more fighting on and on
We'll help one another whether the storm
You were made for me and I was made for you
For nothing is ever wrong when it is right

Thoughts Part 4 By: Kyemma "Vivian Campbell"

So Abby, was right!!!

Once again, my best friend had everything down pact as she always does. The guy I had once gone out with over the summer, introduced to me by his Irish sister, was only out for one thing: just to unlock and better yet screw that cookie jar. I'm not surprised for when I told him..

"I'm seeking something more out of a relationship, and I'm not willing to have sex with you. If you want to go out to a movie or dinner then fine, otherwise the answer is no!"

He just didn't wanna hear it and so I've gotten no response since then, even though he had been begging all weekend for me to hang. But, the term "hanging out" constitutes for I'd love a piece of your goodies aka the "cookies" from the cookie jar. I am shaking my head at the man he is because I haven't seen him since I broke everything off and all forms of contact with him during the summer. I was right then to leave him alone as I am now. We had one date where I was set to meet him at a lounge, and he forgot because he was drunk. This is when I ran into the German. By then, I decided to let Gerard go for good, no matter how many times he rang my phone. The German who catered to my needs when I became a "Damsel in Distress" said

"that guy is a douche-bag and you deserve so much better!!!"

The German was a nice guy but, too sweet and that I deserve however, he wasn't the one. His name was Matt, and we did have a good time at the bar, at his friends wedding reception, and he was an AMAZING kisser. He had the tongue of a god!!!!!!!!!!!! I think he terrified me when he started naming our future kids... I was taken back because he was and then he wasn't what I desired at the same time. We decided to be friends and just let it go. He was a gentlemen though, and he didn't try anything. The kiss was mutual. I liked that very much. The dating scene that summer captivated my noggin because Gerard wasn't right just like Tony wasn't right.

Tony was this guy who I had dated on and off but, he was a loner. He never loved people, and I love people so I had to let him go. He played so many games and never wanted to try anything out of his element. Also, he was very fond of his friend from Trinidad. Now I love Trinidad though, I've never been: my step-dad is from Trinidad. But, this guy spoke of her all of the time, and I felt he should just be with her!!! Now, I wasn't jealous, but, damn, all I receive is dinner, a movie at your place which happens to be my movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's", and the story of her. It was my fault because people only do what you allow them to do! Which is why I put an end to this. He was, in fact, a partner with a benefit: he would never love me. At least not the way the way I wanted him to. I knew better. This is why I shut that shit down and he thought I was playing. I was done for good and relieved. Anyhow, I thought he was about to experience a mid-life crisis and, I decided this is it. A woman of my nature requires something new...

There are most likely 3 men I've dated that gave respect, love and the feeling happened to be mutual. But, through all of these trials, I call them trials because they are: you learn from each and every relationship that you have with an individual in life. It doesn't hurt you but has the tendency to make you strong. It's what you do with that knowledge that's valuable. It's called "The Education of Love, Life, People and Men" and it has a woman going haywire everyday. We learn everyday and that's what makes this and us as a people so special. It's the lessons we learn that contribute to our growth.

Let's just say that life is a one huge educational shopping spree! Whatever you want to purchase, please do go out there and buy it. It's good for you!

I say, just be thankful you are able to participate in this shopping spree. We are all fighters and the battle has only just begun. My best friend and I chat for hours on end every night, and we are so a like, it's uncanny. The 2 of us have ESP or some shit but, Abby does know what I'm going to do before I do it. Through the good and bad, we both know what the next one is plotting to do. This is what makes our relationship so special. She knew I wasn't going to go see that man, and she was right.

What are friends for?!

They are family, they are love and support, the very next best thing to a sister or brother, and they are going to be honest with you every step of way. Friends are there to teach you things just like everyone else in your life. If I didn't have Abby, I don't know what I would do because through thick and thin we always know the truth. Friends are teachers to one another in life.

Lessons at the Expo By: Kyemma "Vivian Campbell"

Today was such an awe inspiring thrilling experience, I've come to encounter during work.

You see today and for the rest of the weekend until Friday, I am booked to work as an Event Hostess. The event was held at the Metropolitan Pavilion.

This event happened for me based upon luck and a blessing through my good friend Vivian; the one I call thing 1 and she calls me thing 2. Vivian and I have worked together in the past on previous events, and she is such a doll face!!!!!!!! But, that's beside the point except if it weren't for dear, sweet Vivian, Kyemma Vivian Campbell aka Vivian wouldn't have been booked. She's a great person and I am thankful for our relationship as friends.

Back to basics.... Now you see today was going great. I rose out of bed as early as a bubble bee, I had 2 cups of coffee before I left and when I had arrived to Chelsea. I was very happy as always!!!!! But then, there's always that tiny pessimistic snake who comes in with the antipathy to rain on your parade!!! They are either lazy no longer wanting to put in team effort, yet they complain all day. They complain 10 hours during the entire event because thëy don't want to contribute to advertising a product.
This was type of personality I've come to endure, and will have to endure during the rest of this event... In addition to showing up tardy with the attitude of a 5 year old child: well I'll be damned. However, I still kept my composure. The head manager, Melody, had seen what transpired and had no doubts at all. I was very excited and, had the opportunity to meet Mrs. Vera Moore of Vera Moore Cosmetics, who became absolutely smitten with me and my perky little self. Conversations amongst the consumers, and team member had become very enlightening. I also, enjoyed seeing the smile on Mama Vera's face (she's like the older mother Í never had) and, my smile brought her and her family joy!!! We exchanged contact information in terms of linking up, I suppose. She asked 10 minutes after the 1st hello, and I knew we were destined to be friends. Working the expo was special to me also, the fact that I had the chance to put a smile to the children's faces!!! This made my day!!! I swear I want kids but, first marriage because I believe it seals the bond one has with their mate. I want 3 children from my husband and, I will name them Kate, Sienna and Simon. However, if I ever fall madly in love I'll name them after "The MAN" aka my husband. If this doesn't happen I'll adopt from Ethiopia, China and Italy ahahahah yeah... Truth be told I will be married someday with a white picket fence, and someone who loves me just as much as I love them!!! Someone to make me laugh and, tease me when I'm upset, and tell me "NO," because for some odd reason I like that. Other than this future, I am LOVING being a working women, and every minute of it too. My career, the stage, school and writing makes me smile!!! I couldn't ask for anything more. I LOVE it. The children I worked with today along with the parents and, marathon runners made my day. I am truly blessed!!!!!!

The one thing that hurts my soul is when you're working with a team mate who isn't passionate about their work at all. In life, we must work hard for the fruits of our labor and be our very best at what we do. If not? How else will we learn or gain from the work we put in. This human being couldn't be happy or maintain a smile until, the time came to end the event. They said "I don't like working this event, it sucks and I was paid more at the other event to do nothing. I don't wanna work. I am a Producer, I have this and that..." I know in life, we all complain about the mundane things in our life but, come on...!? You simply can't have everything your way and expect to get results from no work at all. The work you do starts from the ground up! I mean, look at me, I am no angel but, I do my best and I do the work because no matter how much you complain you'll never have what you need or desire if "complain and whine" is your middle name. For the seeds you sow within the ground will therefore manifest later. This is in the bible. Sometimes I don't get people but, all the same; I LOVE them!!!!!!!!! I tried to make the best of the situation, held my composure to work with my content soul. Just because the next man isn't content doesn't mean I shall not be! You've got to love yourself and want more for yourself. What you give unto to people they'll give unto you. People love to see other people happy though, everyone isn't going to adhere to you by any means, the moral of the story is respect, manners and love. You can give love even if not given unto you!!! It'll always come back full circle, as long as you are true to you. Today confirms that working makes me glow, feeling even more orgasmic then I've ever felt & all the while keeping me pumped. I love that and that's how I want my other half to be: strong, happy and tall!!! It also confirms marriage, children and a career in stage or literary works, maybe a show or book, so as long as I am working with children and people my soul is fine. It doesn't take much to please me. I just can't understand why people complain but, sign up for stuff anyway. I believe if you are going to complain, take initiative. But, please don't spoil it for the children, they are the world. We just live in it. Love what you do and, if not find something you love and revamp it into a masterpiece.

This, my friends, was my experience at the expo today, and lessons were learned. People are still the same imperfect souls we were meant to be!!!!!!

Thoughts Part 2 By: Vivian Campbell

He said he'd love to see me, like back then. I told him that my "cookies" will remain in the cookie jar just for my non-existent future husband! He said that's cool, I wanna chill w/ you, watch a movie, have a drink or 2. Maybe he really wants to see me but, I never go backward I must go forward. Who knows?

I think he means well. At least he takes action. And at least he's not like that guy at Bar None's Hostess Event who shook my hand, tried to pull me in w/ sex in his eyes. He was a cute white guy but, not what the doctor ordered. Perhaps, I've been right all along and that I will marry a white guy, for they are ones who like me the most. My soul or something... Nevertheless!!!!!!!!!!! The answer is no, my child. In the end, you will marry whomever steals your heart and whose tall!!!!!!!! It's supposed to be that way although, I can count the list of all the white guys I've dated versus the black, indian and arabic guys yet that matters none. Love or attraction knows no color. I was captivated by their spirit and I thought for one moment that they were it. It turns out that they weren't no matter the creed or color, men may think the same but they aren't all the same! They're just men! I LOVE men but, I value that which is "me" wholeheartedly! I deserve the very best and, so I am saying that I'm not giving up on my cookies, just protecting them for something greater. Therefore, if he is the one I will know. This one knew he wasn't the one but, he still wants to see me. My best friend thinks he's done bamboozled me, and he hasn't. I never gave anything but, he just wants to watch a movie and I really want to go yet my soul is telling me no.. I wonder if my soul will surrender. Chances are once in a lifetime but, a contradiction because everyday you rise out of slumber, that is your chance to give it ALL you've got!!!!!!!!

Since the night has sprung I haven't given him an answer but, somehow when you tell a guy no, he equates the "no" with a yes. I feel as though if you haven't got me on Cloud 9, you haven't got me at all. You had me intimately and I wanted more, you never gave so you left. If it's so easy for you to up and leave maybe, it's your company I shouldn't keep. But, then I think at least you care enough to ask how I'm doing even if I don't know what you want. We don't mesh well but you are swell. You had made feel good back then, but I always feel good. I'm the happiest woman I know like "Charlotte" from "Sex and The City." I have everything I could ever want yet I value the fact that you wanna spend your time with me but, my soul is telling me no, no, no, Vivian- he's not what you want so don't go!!!! Who knows now. Can't make you nor the world happy, be the change you wanna see. I wanna see but then I don't. What I am really saying is that.... I won't...

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Ky & Court aka Vivian & Noelle: taking light of the world we live in, personal lives, the town and common sense...

The day has turned out to be wonderfully, adventurous. I had a beautiful time with my darling off and on Best of a Friend, Courtney Noelle Dawson. Now, Courtney has never given me any reason to doubt our friendship, it's just that we almost always see one another 3 seasons out of the year, when the weather is lovely, nice and perky. I say "perky" because I am always perky even when I'm mad, at times. But, it doesn't change the very fact that we only connect during seasons- Spring, Summer, and Fall. The only season we really don't get together for is Winter. "It's like we are in hibernation, which I have mentioned to Court (her nick name) as we have strolled down 5th avenue." She immediately giggled saying "Ky, don't say that!!!" And I went on to explain that I see her more than I ever see my "Soul Sister," and I know people get busy with their lives and that speaks volumes. Time with the people you love is always precious. She said I know and we agreed on something besides, going to Starbucks so I could get my Iced Non-Fat Coffee and her Vanilla Bean Frappucino, the Sushi- compliments of Court, and using the rest room at McDonald's. Our moods grew happily before then..

I felt so bad, for when she had first bumped into me via our meet up spot at Bryant Park because I was texting, and she comes up to me and says, "You looking for somebody!!" And we instantly hugged and it was talk of "I've missed you here and there...," with smiles and cheer because Court and Ky were Back In Action!!!!!! We were ready. Well, I was ready for Coffee and Court was ready for a potty break: therefore the decisions made appeased both our little noggins, and we started what we do best from there: catching up on the Brian's, Shadow's and Men, period, of our lives, family, loved ones, our morals, our desires, careers in entertainment and getting the "HELL" out of New York City, in the end of it all. We've had enough but, as we've concluded

"there will be douche bags everywhere you go," "good men are hard to come by," "you can't turn a little boy into a man, how you get a man is how you will keep him," and "some people in New York City don't wash their hands after using the restroom!"

This was a got damn shame but it is what it was and still is, we just haven't met our match. Though, we aren't looking, the forces of nature attracts us to whatever it sees fit. The way I see fit, I am happy I am not "fucking" anyone in particular, to be quite frank. "This isn't mating season and we aren't monkeys or mammals.." I am saving my soul, my treasures for the one, who's in it to win it. "Life's too crazy to waste your time on the little ones, when you could have the love of your life, or essentially a great tall lover who connects within your soul so you two become one and, whole." It's not a game when you are a woman dedicated to your craft and I believe this is what Courtney and I are mastering. Everything has its breaking point and this right here is ours.

We want so much more and as the two of us gals, sat in Bryant Park, eating our sushi and chattering away, it made us smile. We were linked up as last like "Bears coming out of hibernation!" All of the silly stuff said about men, modeling, acting, moving, exploring: the fact that I want to leave the city to move to Chicago, San Francisco or Atlanta because I'm a happy, energetic person. In addition to Courtney just wanting to be in Chicago says a whole lot. We are definitely yearning for something and it is not in the city, at all. We desire more! The conversation felt great, it like old times and we decided to walk around the park, have some ice cream, chat some more about castings and creepy old photographers. We passed Rockefeller Center, and there were tons of "crazies," (men who are creeps) as we strolled by. There was one fella who had stared me down as my friend and I were walking and I said "Ewww....," and Courtney laughed saying "I missed this stuff," and I smiled yet we smiled together. It was funny because I always have something to say if it comes to mind. It's quite brazen, I might add but, I mean what I say. There's reasoning behind it and there is a time and a place for everything.

All the same, we had so many laughs as we went in and out of The Disney Store and Forever 21!!!! Then back to another Starbucks to charge our batteries for the phone. It was a poignant, serene day that I needed. For, with all of the work, and studying that I do, I needed more than a smile which I always give!!!

A day out on the town between all of those places, marketing homework, and the Marriot Hotel, she and I had done pretty swell. I'd say that we had a groovy time full of giggles that felt like yesterday: last Spring, Summer and Fall..

Therefore even though we may meet up 3 seasons out of the year, we have a darn good time! We've always kept the faith yet believed in the magic with writing, acting and modeling in full bloom. Another thing, is leaving town.

There is so much more out there to see and we have believed. It's the way of the world because anything can happen once you believe.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Respect L.O.V.E Regardless of the Title Nor What The Next Man Says...

The saying goes that everyone evolves at their own pace. However, in the real world, this life, we as human beings never can tell who is going to love us or seek vengeance towards us. Everyone appears sweet at the first sight of it all. A lot of the time we have trust our instincts though, there are times when we don't and, whatever happens must be accounted for because it has already happened.

We just simply held liable for the consequences of the deed, once it is done whether it happened to be good or bad. We are the ones who have to observe and ask ourselves why we did what just surpassed? We answer to ourselves or the Universe...
This is the way it goes. There are always human beings on this planet that are going to have something to say about you whether they are in the right or wrong: the reality of it, is that everyone, everywhere has always got something to say.
There's no logical explanation for it all except, people like to talk, people want answers and, most of all, people like their opinions to be heard. This is almost always true. I believe this world is the talk of the town which I would perceive as "The Domino Effect..." When one thing tumbles baby, we all tumble. If you take a life, then your life will be taken and vice versa. That's just the laws of it all because whatever energies you give out, you will without a doubt receive it back!!!!!!!

This is the way it works: Little Girls and Boys of All Ages.
It said because everybody talks about everybody, people presume that they all walk around on high egg shells like nothing has transpired but, truth be told, everyone wants to have that opportunity to tell their story no matter if it is right or wrong. You can never decipher between the two for that matter because there are three sides to a story; their side, your side and the truth. The truth will always prevail in the end although, both parties will never agree to what has happened because pride and, their plague of emotions has succumbed their soul. It's immoral to fight yet hurt others however, you can hurt someone without ever really knowing. At times, you have to see for yourself what is real versus the fake, because 9 times out of 10 people are only going to tell you what they want to tell or rather, let's say their side. Communication is the key and I say, if you want to know something at the end of the day, get off of your got damn tootie frootie ass and ask!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Asking questions, speaking up, and conversation speaks volumes in any given location.

"Open your mouth, it won't hurt none. Rejecting your feelings will destroy your inner being." (Kyemma Vivian Campbell)

Everyone wants to belong, they seek out a sense of entitlement when really, all we need is to be respectful of one another. It doesn't matter about age, or what title you may possess, for everyone deserves respect. Respect is the very essence of love. Love is a powerful word which, is universal and shan't be taken lightly. The world talks so at the end of the day, never what you have said about that human or the world just respect them. Respect goes a long way and may take you many a miles per day...


Even though My Aunty Denise contacted me today and we conversed for a bit about the Hall, my wishes were respected about uncertainty of attending the hall. Besides the hall, she did respect the fact that I didn't want to involved in anyone elses drama, that no matter what is said between two people back and forth: I want no part of it. Although, another person will feel a certain way towards another, that doesn't mean that you or the next man will feel the same exact way. It's highly unacceptable to force another soul to choose, people have to grow up and learn, in order to make the best of what they have been given, and the decisions of who is to come and leave their lives themselves.

Life is about living, learning, loving and good times but, most of all- your choices, you decide to make: No one else!!!

"I say keep this in mind and you will be fine!!!"

Monday, April 25, 2011

Mary Kay Comprised of Reggae & Other Things We Must Know....

We seek what we know, who we are, like minded happy individuals because at the end of the day, we all seek one common goal: this goal is be loved.

"Like attracts like."

We are those that are expressive, tender, caring, classy, sassy, proper,hip-hop, hypnotic, exotic yet robotic. I believe you have mastered my drift.

As the wonderful Shawna Shannon Jones says "everyone evolves at their own pace," which is true and, I couldn't agree more. Just like age is a number, down or up the line we all trangress at different rates no matter the age or bodily form.
We are who we are!There is nothing wrong with being who you are, and I suggest that every human being take light of that papable love of themselves and own, work on it out with your self and, most importantly "act like you know who you are at all times because if you can't control anything, you can control the very person you are!" This speaks voulmes and every soul out here in this Universe has their breaking point. Everything measure adds up, and it all takes time. There are people out there who will literally try to test you, push you because they believe that you aren't who you say you are, you're supposed to become like them, and the list goes on and and on (this is because they aren't happy with who they are, where they are going with their lives). This is a negative force. But, you shouldn't let it affect you, you are who are, and you should embrace that mold. I'm just stating the obvious because it is a very special mold, and one shouldn't let the next man take that light in your eyes away from thee. This could happen with family, friend and all sorts of colleagues though, words are powerful, it is up to you to ultimately define who you are.

Emphasis: Something happened this weekend with a cousin of mine, with whom I was visiting. Actually, I was visiting my Aunty and he happened to be staying there with her. It was a Saturday morning and, I was getting ready for a film class at 1:30pm. I was excited for the day ahead and what was to spring forth. However, something pushed me back a few notches because I took it upon myself to let one of my relatives borrow my umbrella, to go to a store around the corner which ended up taking them an hour to do. My mood had begun to get overtly anxious, so I decided to make some tea and toast for breakfast, (to calm my nerves) then ask my 1st cousin (my oldest 1st cousin) a question (in regards to what had transpired with my relative whom I let borrow the umbrella) and, the response given wasn't too kind. Therefore, I decided to just walk away and, let that person be. I let it be because I knew my impatience had started growing there upon my soul: and perhaps it had been time for me to sit down and consume my tea and toast. However, my cousin decided that he wanted to tease me calling me names like "Rihanna Head, You have your mother's teeth," incessantly which had become insulting to me, at that point. Then he decided that he would try and pick me up by my legs and try to throw me, (I didn't let that happen)and tap me on my head (more than 2x) which was also uncalled for!!! I am a young woman and I strongly believe that I should at all times be respected, and that kind of crude behavior in those stages will not be tolerated at any level. Everyone has their breaking point and I just couldn't take his BS anymore, so I ended up calling him a Bitch and he kept saying I was Bipolar because I am pisces which was absolutely ludicrous. At this stage in the game, I left him alone and I walked away because I believe respect is a 2 way street, and he should respect the woman that I am, as I respect the "persona/man" that he is. All the while, I did apologize to my Aunty for lack of respect in terms of language, but I had nothing to say to my cousin. I believe that he should know better at 28 years of age, this is not how you play with a 25 year old woman who happens to be your cousin. You keep your hands to yourself, and you respect any human being when they tell you they aren't in the mood for such behavior. This turned out to be a plethora of chaos and I happened to realize that this is what I don't need. Although I haven't seen this cousin in a very long time, I was happy I did but, I do know that he will always be who he is and I will be who I am. The one thing you shouldn't do is cross the line because there happens to be boundaries in any relationship formed. I am a female and he is a male, a male should never hit a woman just as a woman should never hit a male: its wrong! It is what we call unjust behavior. From that moment on, I let it ride. I let it ride because although I do know that, I know better than to let someone take hold of my spirit in a negative manner and resort to such vulgarious profanity was wrong too. Even though, I have been known to curse quite a few times in my life, for I am NO angel, but I'd only go through this teasing formula with the man I love. Then again the "MAN" I LOVE wouldn't treat me in this manner. I say this with the utmost positivity because I know that I possess the power to pick him myself. I may not have control over everything but, I can control what attracts my inner spirit. This in whole, speaks voulmes. The words that come out of your mouth have power, they can hurt you but, you shouldn't give anyone else the power to drive you up the wall. As a human being, you deserve so much more than this, and I am well aware that I do just as you too. We are all imperfect souls but, this very altercation has taught me a very valuable lesson...

"everyone isn't meant to travel through life with you, whether family, friend or foe: at times the ones you love can be your worst enemies but, also it can be like this with friends too. You just really never know. We are all imperfect!!!

The message that I am trying to convey is that even though all of this transpired in the very beginning of my day,

"I still had a wonderful day!!!!!"

I went to my film class, at Berkeley College, and listened to an influential lecture from the Professor. I ran errands, paid some bills, smiled and had the chance to experience more out of my life. The day before this, I had a visit with my Aunt Denise and, I have come to find that I miss the Kingdom Hall more than I miss any God for Saken Church. This is truly a surprise but, maybe I just have special memories which I love holding onto because I love life, and people but one has to know which to stray away from yet which to keep. Everyone isn't always good for you no matter the relation. I was brought to life into a very dysfunctional family, who probably has no idea who I really am yet abhor the fact that I am too damn expressive. The one thing I do know is that I have those who LOVE me and those who don't. This is fine. I also, have a grandmother from my Daddy's side of the family (when I say Daddy, I mean my stepfather) who gives me LOVE 24/7, I have a father who gives me love unconditionally too (biological) at all times along with his wife (at her own pace), and my paternal grandmother thinks of me as her world, (I am her BABY)and I am also blessed with Angelina Grantham who has been an Aunty and Mother to me since the age of 12.5 (She LOVES me for me) and I LOVE so much so even if I don't receive the type of love that I seek from my "Mother," guess what???
I'm always gonna love that woman ten times harder because I can, no matter what is said (whether I say it or the blind man says it). I believe that everything and, everyone is placed into your life for a reason. I feel like, where would I be without, Big Andy (My Daddy though the relationship was unhealthy, he did possess family values), Fred (My Father, I'm always his little girl), Angelina Grantham (MY Mom) and the list continues. "Nothing that roams this planet ever ceases to amaze me, for we all grow, tell white lies or what we wish to tell, work and develop at our own speed but, from ashes to ashes, dust to dust we are so we either move a level up or down," and we all want LOVE. However, love is more of a need than a want! This is the beauty of it all!

Nothing that was said or done provoked me to stop being happy with life. To stop moving on and up the ladder. "

At the end of the day, you are what you eat yet you are what you believe!!!!!!"

I had faith yet believed so much that I ended up having the most wonderful evening with my Aunt Kemba Green and my cousins, at "Our Mary Kay Make-up Test Trial Night," for Women of Color as I call it. I never let the confrontation that occurred during the morning hours to deprive of my poignant spirit but, I did go on to let it empower my soul!! I am worth more than an occassional "I LOVE YOU." -Trey Songz-
I am glad that I know it because I didn't fall or try to become something that I am not- like letting someone force me into believing I should become a stripper or a porn star, (I knew people like that)marrying for citizenship, dating an old man to fufill his needs and again, I've come in contact with individuals like this but I kept on moving. I knew better, because no matter what your parents are, or what people may say that doesn't mean that is who you are! You are what you believe, and a trillion times better. This is what emotes from within my noggin every single day of my life. Let's just say during this Mary Kay Business Venture/Makeup Night with my Aunty was motivational. We saw the beauty in ourselves from within. My cousins and I have tried new things, new makeup, laughs and even laughs at me because I can almost always be too happy "And you have to ask, Kyemma, are you drunk....?" and I respond "No, I am just really, really, really HAPPY.." (I LOVE being "HAPPY" and hugging the people I love, even though I do love wine, and have been drunk before in my life.) It is what it is.

This is a beautiful feeling yet it felt great to support my Aunty in all of her ventures especially this one. It feels wonderful because I want her to know

"That YOU ARE a VERY BEAUTFIFUL WOMAN and there's nothing in this life that you can't TAKE DOWN!!!!"

"Nothing is IMPOSSIBLE, the very word says I'M POSSIBLE.." -Audrey Hepburn-

My Aunty is beautiful and the fact that she's gone on to test her products on her bratty neices and cousin, shows how much she really does love us, (even when my BEST Friend calls and I give her the pep talk) and my Aunty still tolerates it. That's love, the jokes, the smiles, the makeup: it equates with love. This is beautiful and you can take a look for yourself and define your beauty at her site,, in order to experience your own divine beauty!

This is return is all about support, encouragement, beauty and, respect of all men and woman. This is what heals, for the good life is the best life with friends, marriage, family yet L.O.V.E.
You can take hold of what you desire...

After that night we all desired dancing and we danced all night long to reggae (Keman, Crystal and I) while Aunt Kem recorded us. This brought me back to the time where I would dance to reggae as a child with my Daddy and family, (stepfamily) and I was 8 years old, my brother and I were dancing with our cousins/aunts/uncles/grandma-ma, this was the time that I learned how to wine and everyone was happy, as they drank their Heinekeins and us kids just laughed.

This was a memory: there are good memories and there are bad memories but, whatever you choose to hold onto makes a world of difference. Just because there is a sad, hurtful memory doesn't mean that you can't open your eyes to assist other human beings, who've experienced the same yet the worse. Communication has the power to heal the soul within itself. Nothing is too great that you can't see with your third eye and the mind...


The faith is the best part of life and, not knowing is even better because whatever is meant for you to have will be....

Saturday, April 23, 2011


The world is ludicrous, things change including the the mind and time frame. We as human beings, all adapt to our surroundings yet embrace what is given unto us and, take this gift as it is. It is the very blessing of what is should.

The times teach us lessons and day to day values in life...
I am happy I came back to the city to do what I aspired to do as far as posing Nude, for various Artistic Artist's and, for the school of Visual Arts. I went on to perform in background work, the theatre, poetic justice in, floetic terms..
I am still pursuing what I set out to do and even more, but, more than just that.
I have found freedom within my comfort zone, myself, my life, my past and as I reflect on the all of the moments and events that have transpired, I do realize that I have come a long way: This plethora of strength, love and appreciation emits the wild tangible forces of my soul....

It almost always makes me smile and makes my life worth living every second of the day!!! I Belong to myself, my spirit, my soul and God. It is always good to have that feeling of love rectify everything that seems so wrong yet right in your life. At the end of the day, we all seek love.... What's so interesting is that Tami and I (Tami's is a close, very dear friend of mine) and, we were chatting about this very topic, on Thursday. "Everyone seeks love, the problem is you have to love yourself which, is fine by me...." "The thing is love happens when you least expect it, it can sneak up on you like a snake in the night, rather a thief in the night.." I believe you can all grasp the picture, and this is the beauty of it. There is a story behind every picture frame, with hundreds of scenes and you've just got to believe. Life is beautiful when yearn for yet go after what you desire. At this time, at this day and age, I desire you, but I don't know why!? The "YOU," could be any walking creature placed upon planet earth and somehow, we will never know. This is the mystery of it all.

"Life is a mystery, one should never let it slip between the cracks....."

"At the bottom of the 9th when the bases are loaded, there is always "Faith.."

Therefore, I conclude this with a passionate love for you, my craft, everything I do, the family given unto me, the family I was born into, my inner circle of love which is my family too, and MY BEST Friend Abby because I truly believe that without her I couldn't make it through. And a special friendship with the likes of Tami Soligan, Melanie Gretchen (whom I LOVE dearly) and, Lisa Nicki-Perry, from my extended family... These are MY loves too.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Lessons thru the lives of extraordinary human beings....(thoughts part 5)

Have you ever wondered?
Have you ever asked, what was the purpose?
What is the general code or cause for your very existence?! The fact that you exist on planet earth is a blessing yet the elders always say that it's rude to ask.
God will punish you for asking, but, I think not. I believe that this is the mystery of it all.

It's remarkable how things change and yet, they are still the same. You start out as a little girl, pointing that finger since the age of 1, at every adult you see. Then you start looking in the mirror at the age of five, emulating other characters and actors, and by the time you reach that heavenly age of 10, someone leaves your life that protected you back then. This is when you discover that you have a passion for writing coupled with the mirror and it starts to slap you right in the cranium. Somewhere, along the lines and pretty soon, you're abused, and you change but somehow you still remain the same. But your sexuality, you weren't aware of (at the time) has a crescendo greater than you. It's not your fault, pretty little girl, it's just that others didn't do their job at protecting you. However, you've grown into a wise woman and parent, at that (not parent of you, but a parent of your soul and the people you love who love you in return) and that is a blessing. I believe so because you'll never have to purchase this little woman's love, for it is all for you. I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you and I love, how you keep track of your dreams and, don't stop but, keep on believing. I know I had to LOVE you even more when you decided that it was time to battle at the age of 12. Nonetheless, you little thing, I respect you! You know that I love you and that I want the best for us: you and me. I am your soul and you are my spirit. It's ludicrous how they are in synchronization but, true.

In life, we start out with one common goal that is transformed into another. We are born with half and half: from our mothers' and our fathers.' However, I believe that just bringing a child into this world doesn't confirm you're a parent. What makes you a master of parenting (though we are all imperfect) is stepping out to the field with the desire to hit a home run, with each and every batter: conquering the mistakes of the high's and low's brought forth. That's the real definitive battle and I know, because I have two daddies (they love me very much) and, a mother (or 2, to compensate for the love I never receive from the original). It's a tale but, I know for a fact that everything in the dark must to light and, we all seek love. Love isn't something I'm worried about because I born with the very word, "LOVE" ingrained within my soul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a lover at heart and, not a fighter unless I have too. I will fight for my children, for my dreams which are reality, for the man I love, and everything I believe to be true. I may not always be right but, this is the beauty of it because we are all imperfect creatures roaming planet earth. It's as if we have a mission.I believe I have a mission although, I think God has something more influential for me to achieve with my talents. I think the first is marriage, that which, I do deserve because I have to learn to stop wearing the pants and the dress, and it's imperative that I relax. I am not superhuman even if I believe I am! Second, would be performing in theatre or writng about it, for I just have this feeling that this is what I'm driven to do. I mean, a girl doesn't look in the mirror, 24 hours a day, reciting voices, posing and writing about her life's long dream for nothing. It's absoulutely ludicrous but, all the same, it makes me smile. I'm only human and we all make mistakes. Also, I think that's why I can't really be too angry when my mother never calls because you have to accept people for who they are, and it doesn't mean they love you any less. In her case, we shall never know. But, I do LOVE her with all of my heart and soul: I would travel to the moon and back for this woman. My baby brothers' and sister too. Sometimes you've got to let well enough alone and, just let it be. It will always be what it is in life and that is something everyone on this earth should know.

It goes to show that we will all have a passion for something but, in the very end, it becomes the ultimate test of whether we will proceed with this God given plan or man's plan! I told my friend, my big brother, Timothy Pfeifer, "I believe the world is going to hell in a waste basket.." Timothy doesn't believe it will and you know what, maybe he is right! Besides, all of this 2012 bullshit is a vast amount of lard waiting to be captivated by the public's soul, while you wait to hear of what the government is going to do to you next. It has nothing to do with anyone's race, creed or color because after all "we are all just a social security number!" The world never ceases to amaze me, especially the lessons I learn from other people that I meet through my travel in life, from the likes of: my friend's, Timothy Pfeifer, Brian Niko Fontes, Aunt Donna, Abby Francis, Emily Fortunato, Shawna Jones, and Tami Soligan. They are all interesting people and they have come from a life of numerous experiences that take them along way. I admire and respect these individuals for the work they do and love! Also 2 of them happen to be very close yet some are new friends and, one is a very best friend. This is sweet.

I won't go into detail about them all. However, yesterday which is on a Thursday, was the day I had the opportunity to see my "Tami Soligan!!!!!!!" We spent the entire afternoon together. AHAHAH I love this woman and she always makes smile and laugh. We are both Actresses pursuing our dreams, and goals. We're seeking "Love in the City," and it's kind of like this where have a "Sex & the City" relationship. She is the best and we always have good times together. We were members of the same theatre company, cast in a production that never went thru, had shows during the same night and, have dated a numerous amount of douchebags New York City has to offer. This confirms that you cannot find a good man in the city!!! That's why I plan to move to San Fransico, Chicago or Atlanta (Tami and I will browse around for me, soon, in life) but now we must stop with the douchebags...
And to this very moment since yesterday, we can't count! It's so grotesque we have put a stop to it and, not even think about the "it" subject. Besides, like my Tami said "Ky!!! We have 5 more years before we think about marriage and kids. let's just forget about the men!" She's right, we have nothing but time but, you need the man to be married and have kids. I reckon that seals the bond!!! Though, she's right because we are never gonna find what we are looking for so we might as well put a halt to it. Let's be off with it and done, I say!!! But, I LOVE Tami, wholeheartedly, for this because our girl-talk, shopping and coffee just makes me thrilled to go on with life and pursue every road. I guess we just tend to suck in the "Mens Department" but, us gals, know how to throw a good party with sophistication and sass, yet work it out! We always manage to bounce back yet support one another in all we do, even if one of us has non-existent sex life's. The world is our oyster, and partying, shopping, (maybe not men except the ones who want us, if there are any..)and, our love-acting. We have decided that we don't have to be rich and that what makes us rich, is living happily, most of all content, performing our craft with an above average living, with breathing space and, not a man to complete us. We enhance the man, the man doesn't enhance but compliments our style!!! We connect and, that is poignant with any friendship in life. We teach each other things in life every time we meet. I know when we see one another that we possess our daily dose of "Sex & The City," in our lives. That's what makes this and every relationship I may encounter with a human being so special.

You never know where life may carry you, you may have a dream in line with God's plan, and not know it, or you don't believe in God (that's fine), or you're driven into the arms of your future love or husband, maybe even having 2 career's larger than life. It's all a prime example of everything we may become accustomed to, acquainted and/or annointed with.

As "Miley Cyrus" would say "It's The Climb. Keep The Faith, Keep Your Faith..." because everything takes its grand toll, and you aren't in control even when you believe that you are. The "Powers Above" have the utmost control over every living, breathing reptile and creature.

It is the climb and the question is: Who's willing to climb.......?

I started climbing when I took my first look into a mirror but, everything is different for everybody.....

"There are different strokes for different folks..." "Whatchu talkin' bout Willis"
-Different Strokes-

Thursday, March 31, 2011

They say in life, everything happens for a reason.
I believe this is why I wasn't able to receive another day to sleep in and had to adhere to errands past due. This was a grand start minus the fact that I won't be able to see my soul sister tomorrow, Ms. Emily Ann Fortunato, because I have to work an event all day during the weekend except for Sunday. I LOVE working and also the fact that I'll be working with children. I love kids and one day I will have that house, career, 3 children with the white picket fence I've always wanted as a little girl! What an amazing feeling it'll be, it'll be all mine including the man. I LOVE that whole-heartedly!

Speaking of men, it reminds of the 2 men from my past who are seemingly try to lure themselves back into my life. The only thing that I strive to do in terms of those characters, is ignore them, and if they are still prying their way into my life....

My best friend, Abby, says "A restraining order" is the way to go!!! I LOVE Abby and I always say this, but thank God for her because what would I do without having this woman to put me in check?! Also, the very fact that we both are chatter-boxes.
For instance, the time she told me that I adored a certain someone this past year because almost every conversation was about him, and I'd say "No, Abby!!! I don't know what you are talking about!!!?" She'd go on to say "You can lie to everyone else but I am your best friend and I know how you feel about that man!!" LOL I LOVE that girl: she's knows my soul too well. There's not many people in the Universe you can call up at 2:00am in the morning to chat about Mr. Big "BF", or the fact that Gerard contacted me today to hang via text messages but, only because he wants my cookies from the cookie jar. I ignored him though, he's not the one I desire. He can't have any of my cookies, they are on lock-down. He just equates that freaking "NO" with a "YES" and, so does Mr. S who called today, leaving a voicemail message because he doesn't know what's going on in my life, the fact that he hasn't been dating me for 2 years and, he isn't ever allowed to date me again. Besides it's hard to be friends with someone who's nice but psychotic. I deserve the very best so Mr. S and Gerard have to kick rocks, I'm no ones piece of meat (I'm my own piece of meat lol). Mr. S and I never really had a sex life but this is irrelevant. I'm content with that, it was a learning experience and I think I've been through enough douche-bags to know the "real thing" when I see it.

Otherwise, today has been an amazing journey.
"I can't give into what I don't want but, can give into what I do want."
With everyday there's always going to be a new experience, a new thing, a memory from the past coming to life including someone from the past trying to become part of your life, when they have no regard for you or your feelings, they'll be an ex-alcoholic guy you've dated wanting to open your cookie jar, or one who's obssessed with you. Sometimes, I think all the time, it's best to do what is within your heart and soul rather then succumb to the want of others. That's love and respect for you and, the others. It's never good to manipulate one another. I know what I want and will have it!!!! You'll see. I'm a winner!!

I LOVE You Thoughts....

"Rookie Reflections..."

If I could ask God for anything better in this world, it'd be for the love of people. People old and new!! Every day I wake from a deep dark slumber, I seek, I breathe and yet I taste love. Though everything is not in terms of how I would like it to be, it is there. This is what I am most thankful for. I can break away for a day or two and still know that I am loved.

This morning when I awoke, I was cranky as hell but, then as soon as I was dressed and ready, I realized that every day (even though I know) when I rise I am blessed. For this very gift I am thankful. In time, I will have everything my little brown heart desires, if not, even more. This is just an example of how much love I can give when the effort is put forth. However there is no effort bearing in knowing who I am and how I feel about it. Although, I've never been loved the way I wanted to be loved by the first example in my life, I have loved even harder, and have loved my very example too. Every time someone hurt me as a little girl, I came back harder. I was always a fighter I just never knew how tough, till I fought that man when I was 12.5 years of age: I fought him through my very words and actions, punching back saying enough is enough. I will not let you hurt me anymore nor threaten me with hurting my very blood brothers down the hall. You aren't a man, you son of a bitch!!!!!!! I meant everyone word of it, and even though I tried to conceal my feelings they had still contracted. Those feelings were on the verge of letting go and I knew that I would be the "One" (until some odd years later) to be silent and still because they'll not listen at all, but to protect us as a family so we may stay together. Back then, I was a brat but, all brats deserve to be loved and I knew that wasn't love (what that man had done to me: blood or no blood). However, I wanted my example to be the very constant in my life, always there. They weren't but I forgave them and loved even more. This too, is why on this day I am thankful that I woke up as "HAPPY" as a lady-bug as I had been as a child and, smiled.

We were working on the set of "Rookies." I consumed every moment of love given from everyone on set. It was beautiful. I have always loved a pen and pencil as much as I've LOVED the stage and mirror as a little girl!
I can remember my step-father, Big Andy and my mother concurring, "KYEMMA!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get out of the mirror!!!!!!!" The mirror was my love other than Barbie and Barney. I will never forget those memories for those memories and that man always kept my little soul safe from harm! I was his baby-girl too. I never understood their relationship but, I knew it wasn't right. No matter what abuse, he loved her and wanted the best for her. The problem is you can't change the one you're with; you can only love them for who they are. I've always said to myself, that when I have my little, tall family, my children come first and they are my world, no matter what! Men come and go, your husband may croak but those little "Angels" are your life!!! I am a good girl, a sexual creature but a very good, determined young woman! I desire what I crave and go after it ten times harder because I know that I deserve it. I'll ALWAYS be that HAPPY, EXCITED child locked in her dreams but, will make em' happen. I have learned so much over the years through trials and tribulations of men, my mother's men, and my men (the ones I have dated or have had relations with). The difference is I know better. It's because I was always the mother at heart which I believe to be true. I grew up fast but I grew up, always happy yet sad but my soul was always happy. I knew the mirror and a love movie and, being on stage would be my greatest goal but it was more than just that.

Furthermore so what I am saying is today when I was there, for a moment, on set with my friend, my sisterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, Joyce: I had begun to see that I had made everything I wanted happen for me that is why I am always so "ECSTATIC" and my children and their children's children will be too. The fact that I have made others smile, spoke of writing and studying for a Masters with my friends, today especially, Joyce, was a good feeling. She and I are two romantics and we were the liveliest, wild 2 women on board. We're crazy and cool but we connect. Everyone on board connected, we were just too excoted. I even got to see Joy Song from 3 years ago and that made me happy. We are all motivated, blessed, positive women with a glow!!! We are out top seek love, adventure, sex, dreams, a career as an Actress and an education. I LOVE them. I will always protect what's mine. I may be illegitimate but, in my world that "word" doesn't exist. The truth is I exist. I started to exist 25 years ago and it felt great and so are all of these beautiful women, on set with me today. We've brought back memories of The 13th Street Repertory Theatre, and The Michael Chekov Theatre, Tom Harlan, Michael Horn, our Dreams, men and sex. Ooops this was in our conversation a million times (between Joyce Elwick, Vivian Campbell and the entire world now)...

We can't deny our adventures in the land of “Show Biz and The Game.”

Welcome to my life...