Friday, April 8, 2011
Lessons thru the lives of extraordinary human beings....(thoughts part 5)
Have you ever wondered?
Have you ever asked, what was the purpose?
What is the general code or cause for your very existence?! The fact that you exist on planet earth is a blessing yet the elders always say that it's rude to ask.
God will punish you for asking, but, I think not. I believe that this is the mystery of it all.
It's remarkable how things change and yet, they are still the same. You start out as a little girl, pointing that finger since the age of 1, at every adult you see. Then you start looking in the mirror at the age of five, emulating other characters and actors, and by the time you reach that heavenly age of 10, someone leaves your life that protected you back then. This is when you discover that you have a passion for writing coupled with the mirror and it starts to slap you right in the cranium. Somewhere, along the lines and pretty soon, you're abused, and you change but somehow you still remain the same. But your sexuality, you weren't aware of (at the time) has a crescendo greater than you. It's not your fault, pretty little girl, it's just that others didn't do their job at protecting you. However, you've grown into a wise woman and parent, at that (not parent of you, but a parent of your soul and the people you love who love you in return) and that is a blessing. I believe so because you'll never have to purchase this little woman's love, for it is all for you. I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you and I love, how you keep track of your dreams and, don't stop but, keep on believing. I know I had to LOVE you even more when you decided that it was time to battle at the age of 12. Nonetheless, you little thing, I respect you! You know that I love you and that I want the best for us: you and me. I am your soul and you are my spirit. It's ludicrous how they are in synchronization but, true.
In life, we start out with one common goal that is transformed into another. We are born with half and half: from our mothers' and our fathers.' However, I believe that just bringing a child into this world doesn't confirm you're a parent. What makes you a master of parenting (though we are all imperfect) is stepping out to the field with the desire to hit a home run, with each and every batter: conquering the mistakes of the high's and low's brought forth. That's the real definitive battle and I know, because I have two daddies (they love me very much) and, a mother (or 2, to compensate for the love I never receive from the original). It's a tale but, I know for a fact that everything in the dark must to light and, we all seek love. Love isn't something I'm worried about because I born with the very word, "LOVE" ingrained within my soul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm a lover at heart and, not a fighter unless I have too. I will fight for my children, for my dreams which are reality, for the man I love, and everything I believe to be true. I may not always be right but, this is the beauty of it because we are all imperfect creatures roaming planet earth. It's as if we have a mission.I believe I have a mission although, I think God has something more influential for me to achieve with my talents. I think the first is marriage, that which, I do deserve because I have to learn to stop wearing the pants and the dress, and it's imperative that I relax. I am not superhuman even if I believe I am! Second, would be performing in theatre or writng about it, for I just have this feeling that this is what I'm driven to do. I mean, a girl doesn't look in the mirror, 24 hours a day, reciting voices, posing and writing about her life's long dream for nothing. It's absoulutely ludicrous but, all the same, it makes me smile. I'm only human and we all make mistakes. Also, I think that's why I can't really be too angry when my mother never calls because you have to accept people for who they are, and it doesn't mean they love you any less. In her case, we shall never know. But, I do LOVE her with all of my heart and soul: I would travel to the moon and back for this woman. My baby brothers' and sister too. Sometimes you've got to let well enough alone and, just let it be. It will always be what it is in life and that is something everyone on this earth should know.
It goes to show that we will all have a passion for something but, in the very end, it becomes the ultimate test of whether we will proceed with this God given plan or man's plan! I told my friend, my big brother, Timothy Pfeifer, "I believe the world is going to hell in a waste basket.." Timothy doesn't believe it will and you know what, maybe he is right! Besides, all of this 2012 bullshit is a vast amount of lard waiting to be captivated by the public's soul, while you wait to hear of what the government is going to do to you next. It has nothing to do with anyone's race, creed or color because after all "we are all just a social security number!" The world never ceases to amaze me, especially the lessons I learn from other people that I meet through my travel in life, from the likes of: my friend's, Timothy Pfeifer, Brian Niko Fontes, Aunt Donna, Abby Francis, Emily Fortunato, Shawna Jones, and Tami Soligan. They are all interesting people and they have come from a life of numerous experiences that take them along way. I admire and respect these individuals for the work they do and love! Also 2 of them happen to be very close yet some are new friends and, one is a very best friend. This is sweet.
I won't go into detail about them all. However, yesterday which is on a Thursday, was the day I had the opportunity to see my "Tami Soligan!!!!!!!" We spent the entire afternoon together. AHAHAH I love this woman and she always makes smile and laugh. We are both Actresses pursuing our dreams, and goals. We're seeking "Love in the City," and it's kind of like this where have a "Sex & the City" relationship. She is the best and we always have good times together. We were members of the same theatre company, cast in a production that never went thru, had shows during the same night and, have dated a numerous amount of douchebags New York City has to offer. This confirms that you cannot find a good man in the city!!! That's why I plan to move to San Fransico, Chicago or Atlanta (Tami and I will browse around for me, soon, in life) but now we must stop with the douchebags...
And to this very moment since yesterday, we can't count! It's so grotesque we have put a stop to it and, not even think about the "it" subject. Besides, like my Tami said "Ky!!! We have 5 more years before we think about marriage and kids. let's just forget about the men!" She's right, we have nothing but time but, you need the man to be married and have kids. I reckon that seals the bond!!! Though, she's right because we are never gonna find what we are looking for so we might as well put a halt to it. Let's be off with it and done, I say!!! But, I LOVE Tami, wholeheartedly, for this because our girl-talk, shopping and coffee just makes me thrilled to go on with life and pursue every road. I guess we just tend to suck in the "Mens Department" but, us gals, know how to throw a good party with sophistication and sass, yet work it out! We always manage to bounce back yet support one another in all we do, even if one of us has non-existent sex life's. The world is our oyster, and partying, shopping, (maybe not men except the ones who want us, if there are any..)and, our love-acting. We have decided that we don't have to be rich and that what makes us rich, is living happily, most of all content, performing our craft with an above average living, with breathing space and, not a man to complete us. We enhance the man, the man doesn't enhance but compliments our style!!! We connect and, that is poignant with any friendship in life. We teach each other things in life every time we meet. I know when we see one another that we possess our daily dose of "Sex & The City," in our lives. That's what makes this and every relationship I may encounter with a human being so special.
You never know where life may carry you, you may have a dream in line with God's plan, and not know it, or you don't believe in God (that's fine), or you're driven into the arms of your future love or husband, maybe even having 2 career's larger than life. It's all a prime example of everything we may become accustomed to, acquainted and/or annointed with.
As "Miley Cyrus" would say "It's The Climb. Keep The Faith, Keep Your Faith..." because everything takes its grand toll, and you aren't in control even when you believe that you are. The "Powers Above" have the utmost control over every living, breathing reptile and creature.
It is the climb and the question is: Who's willing to climb.......?
I started climbing when I took my first look into a mirror but, everything is different for everybody.....
"There are different strokes for different folks..." "Whatchu talkin' bout Willis"