Thursday, May 26, 2011

Motivational Y.O.U

It's not about seeking the past for answers to the present
It's about growing as an individual day by day, a step at a time regardless of what people and the world may think or say. We are divine because we are one and, we are just us- who we are. If a person doesn't like you I say 'FUCK em'!!!' I say this purely because you have just got to know when to move on and, travel down that yellow brick road like Dorothy did, in the "Wizard of Oz.." You see Dorothy was sacred but she encountered friends along the way who helped her in so many ways. And in return, she did the same. Life is about helping people, being happy, working hard, accomplishing what you love. You can be anything you want to be. There's always going to be someone who will try to stop you, or tear you a part piece by piece but, you have got to learn that you have got to bounce back!!! Never "BUY" love or friends because real love comes naturally though, hard it's never fake! Your intuition tells you the truth.

Do you hear ME?

Bounce the fuck back!!! Fuck what they said because they are just an audience waiting for you to explode. Move on, be happy, have fun, go out and have sex, jump rope, go to school, become an acrobat, an actress or writer like me, become a dancer, a stripper, a rock star, a singer, the president, get married, have kids or have The "Back-up Plan" (I've been watching this for the past 2 days) and, it's good stuff. MY elusive point is do what you want to do, and have the courage to be who you are. Folks are always going to talk because they've been doing it since the agte of time!!! Hey they spoke dirt of The Late Great Marilyn Monroe and she's still making money on her death bed! This is because the woman is the truth and I love her for one, and so does all of America, which is why there's so much gossip: good or bad. People in the world don't know when to "CUT IT OUT!" and just put a sock in it. If people want to talk let because actions speak louder than words and you will always reap what you sew. Hey half of my family thinks I'm too white (funny thing is I am black, part irish and indian so does it really matter, your color shouldn't define you)for them, and I'm still working hard because deep down inside "I AM ME," and that's beautiful baby! I'd rather be proper, sophisticated, happy, sexy, full of high spirits, date a vast amount of white boys, eat indian food, sushi, drink wine and coffee, smile then date a bunch of indian men, and black men (maybe just be international)study, get married, have kids, and act. The point is I value myself more than anyone else and, no matter what I've been through I know I am on my way; there's no feeling better than that because I LOVE ME!!!! You should love "you" too because from the day you were born you were the only you, you have had, besides your family)..

I just want to say: BE YOU!!! Thank God You Don't Live in a sewer and put a smile on!!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

It happened: By Kyemma "Vivian Campbell"

Once all the stones have been cast
Your love lingers within grasp
Thrown in the crystal clear river
And to ponder..
They don't even have to ask about me for when looking deep unto mine eyes they'll have made a visit with the truth
The truth, so silent yet so meek but, at the end of night let's me sleep,
To only dream of you till' I wake
Because when I'm done it'll have been the start of the next day, next month, next calendar year
For when our love explodes doomsday will appear,
Though I fear, I'll never experience your love
'Cause deep down you started off as this awful bug; a bug in mine ear
And I brewed up a steaming pot of hatred towards you, as it would appear
But now, now everything isn't clear
Because when I yearn for you, I'm calling you near
I started out doing this for myself and then, I came to see you're the one I want to capture for myself
I wanna be on your team, your side
I wanna be your Bonnie, you be, my Clyde
But I see, I see
Love don't come easy
You ain't come easy because I ain't come easy
Though I care and cared even more when you teased me..
This edible succulent game of cat and mouse
Gave her nothing but a taste for what you're about
Though without a doubt I've gotta let you flow from my mind because this crush,
This 'I don't know what,' has got me spinning into a 4th dimension
Don't know if it's well worth mentioning
I felt it with you
I felt it with you
I felt it with you
That's the least I could do
You make me sick
I could easily hate you because I can't have you,
But it's not in my heart
I'm not that kind of woman
I'm stronger than that
But when it comes to the tip of my tongue,
I was never created to hate but created to love
So thankful for this present which is ever such a blessing
For sometimes when I close my eyes,
It is you I see, it is you I see as I fly through the warm breeze
Guessing that encounter wasn't so bad Cause what I had hated I've come to love and what has made me sad has made me smile
Smile because I can
What has transpired
What has transpired
She or I nor you will never know..
That's the magic
All strung out, up in the air with some doubts...
You, you, you
Me, me, me
I'm letting it be..

Sign: By Kyemma "Vivian Campbell"

What's so symbolic of our love
Is that you are there thinking of thee above
When I need you
Day or night
Don't have to raise my hand, make a sound
You come when the time's right
It is true for you know the signs
The signs of your dear love in the light
You are poignant, mystical yet the truth
There wouldn't be a me without you
The sound of your name rings bells in my mind
It brings me joy without a simple sign
You think of me even before and when you think of you
You are a real man and my dream has come true
Is this fate
Is it the time
The universe has brought us into the light
I kind a get it now
Can't you see
I am secure with you
Sound and safely
No more fighting on and on
We'll help one another whether the storm
You were made for me and I was made for you
For nothing is ever wrong when it is right

Thoughts Part 4 By: Kyemma "Vivian Campbell"

So Abby, was right!!!

Once again, my best friend had everything down pact as she always does. The guy I had once gone out with over the summer, introduced to me by his Irish sister, was only out for one thing: just to unlock and better yet screw that cookie jar. I'm not surprised for when I told him..

"I'm seeking something more out of a relationship, and I'm not willing to have sex with you. If you want to go out to a movie or dinner then fine, otherwise the answer is no!"

He just didn't wanna hear it and so I've gotten no response since then, even though he had been begging all weekend for me to hang. But, the term "hanging out" constitutes for I'd love a piece of your goodies aka the "cookies" from the cookie jar. I am shaking my head at the man he is because I haven't seen him since I broke everything off and all forms of contact with him during the summer. I was right then to leave him alone as I am now. We had one date where I was set to meet him at a lounge, and he forgot because he was drunk. This is when I ran into the German. By then, I decided to let Gerard go for good, no matter how many times he rang my phone. The German who catered to my needs when I became a "Damsel in Distress" said

"that guy is a douche-bag and you deserve so much better!!!"

The German was a nice guy but, too sweet and that I deserve however, he wasn't the one. His name was Matt, and we did have a good time at the bar, at his friends wedding reception, and he was an AMAZING kisser. He had the tongue of a god!!!!!!!!!!!! I think he terrified me when he started naming our future kids... I was taken back because he was and then he wasn't what I desired at the same time. We decided to be friends and just let it go. He was a gentlemen though, and he didn't try anything. The kiss was mutual. I liked that very much. The dating scene that summer captivated my noggin because Gerard wasn't right just like Tony wasn't right.

Tony was this guy who I had dated on and off but, he was a loner. He never loved people, and I love people so I had to let him go. He played so many games and never wanted to try anything out of his element. Also, he was very fond of his friend from Trinidad. Now I love Trinidad though, I've never been: my step-dad is from Trinidad. But, this guy spoke of her all of the time, and I felt he should just be with her!!! Now, I wasn't jealous, but, damn, all I receive is dinner, a movie at your place which happens to be my movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's", and the story of her. It was my fault because people only do what you allow them to do! Which is why I put an end to this. He was, in fact, a partner with a benefit: he would never love me. At least not the way the way I wanted him to. I knew better. This is why I shut that shit down and he thought I was playing. I was done for good and relieved. Anyhow, I thought he was about to experience a mid-life crisis and, I decided this is it. A woman of my nature requires something new...

There are most likely 3 men I've dated that gave respect, love and the feeling happened to be mutual. But, through all of these trials, I call them trials because they are: you learn from each and every relationship that you have with an individual in life. It doesn't hurt you but has the tendency to make you strong. It's what you do with that knowledge that's valuable. It's called "The Education of Love, Life, People and Men" and it has a woman going haywire everyday. We learn everyday and that's what makes this and us as a people so special. It's the lessons we learn that contribute to our growth.

Let's just say that life is a one huge educational shopping spree! Whatever you want to purchase, please do go out there and buy it. It's good for you!

I say, just be thankful you are able to participate in this shopping spree. We are all fighters and the battle has only just begun. My best friend and I chat for hours on end every night, and we are so a like, it's uncanny. The 2 of us have ESP or some shit but, Abby does know what I'm going to do before I do it. Through the good and bad, we both know what the next one is plotting to do. This is what makes our relationship so special. She knew I wasn't going to go see that man, and she was right.

What are friends for?!

They are family, they are love and support, the very next best thing to a sister or brother, and they are going to be honest with you every step of way. Friends are there to teach you things just like everyone else in your life. If I didn't have Abby, I don't know what I would do because through thick and thin we always know the truth. Friends are teachers to one another in life.

Lessons at the Expo By: Kyemma "Vivian Campbell"

Today was such an awe inspiring thrilling experience, I've come to encounter during work.

You see today and for the rest of the weekend until Friday, I am booked to work as an Event Hostess. The event was held at the Metropolitan Pavilion.

This event happened for me based upon luck and a blessing through my good friend Vivian; the one I call thing 1 and she calls me thing 2. Vivian and I have worked together in the past on previous events, and she is such a doll face!!!!!!!! But, that's beside the point except if it weren't for dear, sweet Vivian, Kyemma Vivian Campbell aka Vivian wouldn't have been booked. She's a great person and I am thankful for our relationship as friends.

Back to basics.... Now you see today was going great. I rose out of bed as early as a bubble bee, I had 2 cups of coffee before I left and when I had arrived to Chelsea. I was very happy as always!!!!! But then, there's always that tiny pessimistic snake who comes in with the antipathy to rain on your parade!!! They are either lazy no longer wanting to put in team effort, yet they complain all day. They complain 10 hours during the entire event because thëy don't want to contribute to advertising a product.
This was type of personality I've come to endure, and will have to endure during the rest of this event... In addition to showing up tardy with the attitude of a 5 year old child: well I'll be damned. However, I still kept my composure. The head manager, Melody, had seen what transpired and had no doubts at all. I was very excited and, had the opportunity to meet Mrs. Vera Moore of Vera Moore Cosmetics, who became absolutely smitten with me and my perky little self. Conversations amongst the consumers, and team member had become very enlightening. I also, enjoyed seeing the smile on Mama Vera's face (she's like the older mother Í never had) and, my smile brought her and her family joy!!! We exchanged contact information in terms of linking up, I suppose. She asked 10 minutes after the 1st hello, and I knew we were destined to be friends. Working the expo was special to me also, the fact that I had the chance to put a smile to the children's faces!!! This made my day!!! I swear I want kids but, first marriage because I believe it seals the bond one has with their mate. I want 3 children from my husband and, I will name them Kate, Sienna and Simon. However, if I ever fall madly in love I'll name them after "The MAN" aka my husband. If this doesn't happen I'll adopt from Ethiopia, China and Italy ahahahah yeah... Truth be told I will be married someday with a white picket fence, and someone who loves me just as much as I love them!!! Someone to make me laugh and, tease me when I'm upset, and tell me "NO," because for some odd reason I like that. Other than this future, I am LOVING being a working women, and every minute of it too. My career, the stage, school and writing makes me smile!!! I couldn't ask for anything more. I LOVE it. The children I worked with today along with the parents and, marathon runners made my day. I am truly blessed!!!!!!

The one thing that hurts my soul is when you're working with a team mate who isn't passionate about their work at all. In life, we must work hard for the fruits of our labor and be our very best at what we do. If not? How else will we learn or gain from the work we put in. This human being couldn't be happy or maintain a smile until, the time came to end the event. They said "I don't like working this event, it sucks and I was paid more at the other event to do nothing. I don't wanna work. I am a Producer, I have this and that..." I know in life, we all complain about the mundane things in our life but, come on...!? You simply can't have everything your way and expect to get results from no work at all. The work you do starts from the ground up! I mean, look at me, I am no angel but, I do my best and I do the work because no matter how much you complain you'll never have what you need or desire if "complain and whine" is your middle name. For the seeds you sow within the ground will therefore manifest later. This is in the bible. Sometimes I don't get people but, all the same; I LOVE them!!!!!!!!! I tried to make the best of the situation, held my composure to work with my content soul. Just because the next man isn't content doesn't mean I shall not be! You've got to love yourself and want more for yourself. What you give unto to people they'll give unto you. People love to see other people happy though, everyone isn't going to adhere to you by any means, the moral of the story is respect, manners and love. You can give love even if not given unto you!!! It'll always come back full circle, as long as you are true to you. Today confirms that working makes me glow, feeling even more orgasmic then I've ever felt & all the while keeping me pumped. I love that and that's how I want my other half to be: strong, happy and tall!!! It also confirms marriage, children and a career in stage or literary works, maybe a show or book, so as long as I am working with children and people my soul is fine. It doesn't take much to please me. I just can't understand why people complain but, sign up for stuff anyway. I believe if you are going to complain, take initiative. But, please don't spoil it for the children, they are the world. We just live in it. Love what you do and, if not find something you love and revamp it into a masterpiece.

This, my friends, was my experience at the expo today, and lessons were learned. People are still the same imperfect souls we were meant to be!!!!!!

Thoughts Part 2 By: Vivian Campbell

He said he'd love to see me, like back then. I told him that my "cookies" will remain in the cookie jar just for my non-existent future husband! He said that's cool, I wanna chill w/ you, watch a movie, have a drink or 2. Maybe he really wants to see me but, I never go backward I must go forward. Who knows?

I think he means well. At least he takes action. And at least he's not like that guy at Bar None's Hostess Event who shook my hand, tried to pull me in w/ sex in his eyes. He was a cute white guy but, not what the doctor ordered. Perhaps, I've been right all along and that I will marry a white guy, for they are ones who like me the most. My soul or something... Nevertheless!!!!!!!!!!! The answer is no, my child. In the end, you will marry whomever steals your heart and whose tall!!!!!!!! It's supposed to be that way although, I can count the list of all the white guys I've dated versus the black, indian and arabic guys yet that matters none. Love or attraction knows no color. I was captivated by their spirit and I thought for one moment that they were it. It turns out that they weren't no matter the creed or color, men may think the same but they aren't all the same! They're just men! I LOVE men but, I value that which is "me" wholeheartedly! I deserve the very best and, so I am saying that I'm not giving up on my cookies, just protecting them for something greater. Therefore, if he is the one I will know. This one knew he wasn't the one but, he still wants to see me. My best friend thinks he's done bamboozled me, and he hasn't. I never gave anything but, he just wants to watch a movie and I really want to go yet my soul is telling me no.. I wonder if my soul will surrender. Chances are once in a lifetime but, a contradiction because everyday you rise out of slumber, that is your chance to give it ALL you've got!!!!!!!!

Since the night has sprung I haven't given him an answer but, somehow when you tell a guy no, he equates the "no" with a yes. I feel as though if you haven't got me on Cloud 9, you haven't got me at all. You had me intimately and I wanted more, you never gave so you left. If it's so easy for you to up and leave maybe, it's your company I shouldn't keep. But, then I think at least you care enough to ask how I'm doing even if I don't know what you want. We don't mesh well but you are swell. You had made feel good back then, but I always feel good. I'm the happiest woman I know like "Charlotte" from "Sex and The City." I have everything I could ever want yet I value the fact that you wanna spend your time with me but, my soul is telling me no, no, no, Vivian- he's not what you want so don't go!!!! Who knows now. Can't make you nor the world happy, be the change you wanna see. I wanna see but then I don't. What I am really saying is that.... I won't...